How Many Dates Before a Relationship?

Remember this giddy feeling you have when you meet someone, and you click? Like suddenly you want to talk to this person all the time and tell this person events that could have been interesting to them.

Then, you tell your friends that you’ve ‘met’ someone. You say to your friends that you are hopeful this person could be the one.

Then, you would be asked- “How many times did you guys go out?”.

Of course, your concerned friends would love to hear how often you already saw each other as your basis for knowing that this person is the one. True enough, before committing to someone, you have to make sure you know this person well. What are the tendencies, interests, and hobbies this person has? How does this person change your outlook on life?

So, How Many Dates Before Getting Into a Relationship?

Honestly, it depends.

It’s a disappointing answer, isn’t it? But remember that we have established that you must make sure you know this person well. Instead of counting how many dates you must have, let me tell you how to gauge your readiness to commit.

Prioritize Self-Care

There is this feeling of peace in doing simple mundane tasks, honestly, self-care. It’s just comforting and peaceful to make your cup of joe in the morning; knowing that you do it for yourself. How do these activities differ when done with a partner? Did morning coffee time feel better and more fulfilling?

The answer to that question will tell you whether this person complements you.

Complementing each other matters because you are meant to build each other differently.

What to Observe During Dates?

Here are some observables you should check during dates, or even talks, with your significant other:

  • Does he (or she) make you feel comfortable in your own skin?

How much does this person appreciate you? Does this person notice that your eyes seem brighter, your skin gives more glow? How does this person respond to you when you point out your insecurities?

On your part, do you notice this person’s effort to meet you in person and their preparedness? Do you compliment this person’s looks today?

  • Is he (or she) interested in your interests?

How much attention does this person give to your hobbies, interests, and likes? Whether this is a common interest or not, does this person listen and hear your thoughts about it? How often does he (or she) use phones when you share?

On your part, how attentive are you to this person’s stories? How do you respond to stories when it seems to be work-related?

Remember, topics to talk about are a common ground where you could share your ideas and extent of interest.

  • How willing does he (or she) seem when you suggest to see each other?

In connection to the previous question, if he (or she) likes your interactions, topics, then this leads to somewhere. However, notice changes in behavior when you bring up going out again or suggesting another Facetime session.

  • What seems to be his (or her) love language?

Although they said that the right person would give you love in all love languages, it will help build compatibility if you notice his love language and how you respond to it. Remember that this is not just a take process but a give–and–take.


Although no definite answer was given as to how many dates before you get into the relationship, it is undeniable that you SHOULD get to know the person byways I have mentioned above. Getting to see the stage isn’t easy, but it would be worth it.

I hope you don’t rush into things. Appreciate this process. Take as many dates as you want (or less). Enjoy this! Getting to know the person will always be worth it in the end.

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