Does Money Matter in A Relationship?

In this guide:

You want someone whose financial goals align yours
Security matters
Money can sometimes cause problems
A relationship should be equal
You need to get your finances in check if you want to settle down and have kids

Although people say, “Money can’t buy you happiness,” I’d like to contest that idea. Obviously, whoever said it was more than financially stable. In today’s day and age, money does get you far. It can give you access to better quality education, opportunities, and higher chances of getting approved for a loan. Let’s face it, money may not buy happiness, but it does buy stability, and that’s pretty much one reason to be happy.

However, the question is, does money also matter in a relationship? I want to argue that, yes, it does. Sure, love conquers all. But, let’s face it — love still needs a roof over their head and food on the table. Now, I know some of you may be out there ready to protest, but hear me out. Sure, we’d want to find someone attractive, kind, and easy to get along with. But, when you’re in a relationship, it’s important to have a conversation about money matters because of the expectations that come with it. Here, I’ve got five reasons why money matters in a relationship.

1. You want someone whose financial goals align yours

Having an open and honest conversation is key to building a stable relationship. (Getty Images)

Since you’ll be spending more time together and maybe eventually living together, it’s crucial to have an open conversation about your finances. What are your goals? Are you saving up for a house? It would be best if you made sure both you and your partner’s goals were aligned. If you’re living with your partner, their spending habits shouldn’t take a toll on your financial situation and vice versa. While it’s not right to ask every single penny from your partner, you should be confident your partner isn’t going to drop cash on ridiculous and ostentatious items.

Relationships should be equal. Although giving and taking is normal, one partner shouldn’t be responsible for providing 100% of the time because the other doesn’t care about financial matters. Let’s face it: nobody wants to feel exploited. So, it’s important to clear things up early on in the relationship.

2. Security matters

Sure, people are fine with living a simple life with their partner, even if they have to give up some of life’s simple joys due to financial constraints. While that is admirable, I don’t think it should be the norm. I mean, sure, you’re with the love of your life, but how can you enjoy spending time with them if both of you are working two jobs just to get by? Although I salute these people, there’s nothing wrong with wanting financial security and stability above all else. Healthcare is expensive. You wouldn’t want to be put in a situation wherein you’d need to take out loans to pay for your medical bills.

That is why I recommend putting aside a savings account for emergencies. If your partner is comfortable with the idea, you can open a joint savings account. Then, you can agree to put in a certain amount every month. That way, you’ll have something saved for a rainy day.

3. Money can sometimes cause problems

Many couples fight about money because they fail to talk about what their financial expectations are. (Getty Images)

Money may sometimes easily be the cause of conflict in the relationship, especially if you live together. After all, you spend money every day. If you’re not mindful of how many works in your relationship, it can make or break your relationship. So, it’s important to take time and discuss financial matters with your partner to avoid having unnecessary tension in the relationship.

No matter what you do, never fight about money. Instead, healthy communication and support are key factors in maintaining a healthy relationship. Never be afraid to open up to your partner if you’re having trouble with your finances. Plus, the more open you are to each other, the stronger the bond between you two grows.

4. A relationship should be equal

Okay, I’m not asking you guys to split the bill down to the last cent, but there’s nothing wrong if couples prefer it that way. Every couple is different, so how you would define equal is up to you. What if you and your partner don’t make the same amount? Of course, one’s spending power would be greater than the other’s, so why should they feel forced to split things evenly? If you live together, you should define the terms of your contributions. Are you going to divide it evenly, or is one willing to pay more than the other? Both of you need to have a proper conversation about how you will split expenses. Otherwise, someone might start the “This my money!” argument, and that is something everybody wants to avoid having.

5. You need to get your finances in check if you want to settle down and have kids

Starting a family is a major life experience that puts pressure on couples, so it’s best to be prepared emotionally, mentally, and financially. (Getty Images)

If you’re dating to marry, money is one topic you should discuss. Let’s face it, children are not cheap, especially in today’s economy. Pregnancy and childbirth alone cost thousands of dollars. Then, think about the diapers, clothes, food, and education costs you’ll be spending. It’s enough to make you dizzy! Oh, and the house! Are you renting, or do you plan on saving up for a home? Conversations like these matter since they affect how your life will turn out in the years to come.

Therefore, you need to make sure both of you have got your finances in check before you settle down and start a family. Although there’s definitely nothing wrong with winging it as you go, planning helps take some stress away. The clearer you are with your plans, the easier it is to prepare for any unexpected situations.

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